Travelers in a City with No Atlas

from by Catthumbs



Plot Summary: Ash and the narrator witness a bright flame falling from the sky into the forest, and the narrator investigates despite Ash telling them not to, breaking her trust.

Also the song in the background is a cover of Broadripple is Burning by Margot and The Nuclear So and So's


We were dumb kids
Playing a game with high stakes
Cradling our punk rock anomie to our hearts
Like lonely together was the one thing that was honest
Like sisterhood requires binds of sacrifice
Like we were a pair of exploding stars
Chewing cattle spurs for bubblegum
So when we smiled everyone would see the metal shards shining off our teeth
know we were
Houses of Mirrors lost in Houses of Mirrors
Tattooing ourselves raw with sentiments that always washed off
There was never supposed to be salvation for us
We thought our midnight strolls through the city
Breathing in shadows like hungry paranormal photographers
Could keep our stomachs full
We felt sustainable
"For you, a thousand times over," I said,
As I ran for our dollar store kite that only you had any idea how to fly
We didn't think about it
I really believed that I would eat dirt if you asked me to,
That this time, when the test arose I wouldn't make the same mistakes I had before,
That I would pull the moon from it's anchoring
And panting like a stray dog scratching at the door,
Like a shaking Atlas I'd carry it on my back for a million miles if I had to
I was positive I meant it
But Girl Who Knows the Most About Clouds Dancing,
That night, when that shooting star stretched across the sky before us,
And you said "Don't run for that one."
My heart broke. My eyes flooded my colors drained my spirit fractured but I said,
"I won't."
I tried to laugh away the tail of that comet,
Rinse off my radio's reception by the rhythm of our footfalls
But I wasn't laughing at all when I wove through the forest that very same night,
When the mud of the marshes gripped and tugged at my feet
And my identity got torn up by the fingernails of the branches
Something supernatural, had a hold on me
I wanted to turn back
My street morals,
My stray dog Atlas loyalty
Said nothing could excuse what I was doing
Nothing could excuse what I was giving up
But the glow through the trees of that star,
Wasn't something I could give up
I don't know yet, what degree of a sin this was.
You had a boyfriend, and a different love altogether bottled in your heart,
I didn't want to understand why this one glitter in the cosmos,
My one glitter in the cosmos, mattered to you
But I told you I wouldn't.
And I knew deep down that when my word broke
So would our backbone
So would our streetlight shadow home.
There are no good words for this.
There are no easy answers.
I know now that no matter how many sizes my heart grew
Had I tried to carry the moon to you
My knees would have buckled
My knees have buckled
A thousand times over
I'll do what I can now
But the rain swept away our little shrine under the bridge
The water took everything that wasn't anchored
We cannot furnish these shadows anymore
All we can try for now
Is daylight


from Analomink, released December 29, 2014



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